Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Worst Hospital Night Yet!

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The second night in the hospital was the hardest night we had.  During this time, Rory would wake up in the middle of the night, which was not uncommon, but instead of having the small jerks that would wake her up (which is normal with the epidural) she started having full body convulsions.  It was the scariest thing I have ever seen. They were from head to feet complete uncontrollable shaking.  She would wake up horrified and completely scared, a look that I hope I never see from her again.  She could hardly speak but would say, “Mama make Rory stop.” 
I was so scared,  I just began waking up yelling at Jon, “Somethings is not right, call the nurse, something is wrong!!!”  Thank the lord my husband was able to be with us because I would have lost my mind.   They full body convulsions didn't last very long but they were long enough to turn me to stone and to petrify me.   
We immediately called the nurse, but by the time she came into the room the convulsions had stopped.    I told the nurse what was going on and she said the spasms were pretty common with the epidural.  My mother instincts kicked in right away and immediately got all up in arms letting her know that these were not the small jerks that she has been having since the surgery.  This was something completely different and completely horrifying to me.
We paged the nurses every time they happened, and luckily they didn’t happen too often, but the nurses informed the doctors the next day.   For the rest of the night I slept with one hand over her head and kind of my body on top of hers because when she did try to sleep, which she was fighting because she was afraid of what would happen, the convulsions or any kind of jerking would wake her up.  It was the scariest night of my life.    
breathing treatments with Dada
The next day we took Rory off epidural. The full body convulsions ended.  She still had the small jerks every now and then, but nothing as bad as the full body convulsions.  We don’t know what single thing it was that caused it, but think it was just a mixture of all the different pain medicine, IVs, terror, and everything else that was going into her little body. 
        There were people coming in the room at all times of the day and night.  Anytime someone entered the room Rory would immediately start crying and say, “no hurt Roro,” and grab on to me with a death grip.  She still had to do her breathing treatments, but after a large vomit that night released a lot of excess mucus and other gunk in her lungs.
eating and drinking so well today!  And in a Diaper!

That is another look that haunts me, seeing those eyes look up at me so scared asking me to make it stop.  How do you explain all of this to a 2 year old.  I just had to look her in the eye and let her know that I was with her and not going to leave.  It was hard to remain as calm as possible, but I knew if I got all freaked out, then she would get even more freaked out herself.
We knew it was a good sign when she woke up and she wanted to eat some grapes.  It was the first time that she was actually able to eat something and keep it in her stomach.  We also knew it was going to be a good day because we were able to have tubes removed from her.  We got the epidural removed, and we got to remove her catheter.  We now got to experience diapering in the spica cast, which I will discuss more tomorrow.  
Words can't describe holding her again!
Today was extremely special for me because I got to hold her for the first time since the morning before her surgery.   It felt like an eternity since I was able to hold my girl in my arms.  She still wasn’t talking and was very much and was not my “Rory” but when I asked if I could hold her she said yes.  It was very awkward for me to hold her, her spica cast weighed more than I thought it would and I was very afraid of moving a tube.  Her hair was matted in the back in one big dreadlock from all the sweating and vomiting that had happened.  However, with Jon’s and a few nurses help, I got to hold her for a while.
The spica was made so that she couldn’t be straight up adn down so we were sitting at a very odd angle where she was reclining on me.  I had tears in my eyes the whole time and was so happy to be close to her.  It was still so surreal holding her.  She wasn’t acting like Rory, she didn’t look like Rory, and it was almost like it was just a “Rory shell” sitting on my lap.  It didn’t matter, as long as she was in my arms I was happy.  
We knew the worst was behind us!  

2 comments:

  1. Were they convulsions or seizures? Has she had these before? I'm well familiar with these because my little guy has had seizures for years so I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.

    One day at a time. All will get better with time. And thank God no more epidural!

    Michelle
    http://specialmomspace.com

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    Replies
    1. Not sure what they were- I just wanted them to end- luckily they only happened that one night. One day at a time has become my new motto! How is your little guy doing now?

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